Playing Nice

Dominik Windak, who specialises in family law disputes, reviews the ITV drama, Playing Nice.

If there any family issues you would like to raise with us, then contact us for a free consultation. Call 0333 888 0404 or send an email to [email protected]

Imagine this: You’re a parent enjoying your peaceful morning, when a telephone call changes your life forever. You’re handed information that your child, who you love and have raised, isn’t biologically yours, and was switched at birth. What follows is a knock on a door and… well, I don’t want to spoil it for those who have not yet seen ITV’s gripping new drama, Playing Nice.

Needless to say, the choices you make in the aftermath are not just emotional, but a legal minefield. Playing Nice, delves deep into the complexities of family dynamics, moral dilemmas, and the legal implications of a life-altering mistake. But while the show captures the human dilemma, as a lawyer specialising in family law disputes, I cannot help, but watch it with a different lens.

There are a number of issues which struck me on the outset, and that’s on top of Miles’s behaviours, which I could (and will) write another article about! Let’s unpack some of the real-world legal issues lurking beneath the surface of Playing Nice (avoiding spoilers!), as we explore them from the legal perspective and how the children law matters are progressed by the courts in England and Wales.

Who has and what is parental responsibility? 

Mothers automatically have parental responsibility. The other person, whether it is a father or the second mother, will have parental responsibility if they were married to the mother at the time of birth, or for unmarried couples, they are registered on the birth certificate.

Parental responsibility means that you share all legal rights, duties and responsibilities in relation to the child and you are entitled to make any decisions in relation to their welfare and upbringing.

What is mediation and are you required to attend it? 

Mediation is a process where an independent, trained mediator assists parties in family law disputes to work through issues, in hope of reaching an agreement. If no agreement is reached, it may assist in narrowing the issues. The goal of mediation is to reduce conflict, time, costs and potential court proceedings.

For those reasons, the Court requires the parties to attempt mediation prior to issuing proceedings. There are exceptions to this, such as urgency or domestic abuse.

Unless an exemption applies, you will be required to provide a certificate from a mediator with your application to issue the Court proceedings.

What to do when you receive court papers?  

There are limited circumstances when you would be served with a Court application by a process server. Usually, you will receive them from the Court or a solicitor by post or email.

If you are served by a process server, they will likely explain what the documents relate to, and if there are any urgent Orders or hearings, they will bring them to your attention.

You should contact a solicitor and seek legal advice before you take any further steps for them to advise you on your options.

Can you change the application or cross apply? 

Yes, you can make further applications on what you seek, or you can cross-apply against the other party. Your legal representative will advise you on the appropriate applications you should or should not seek depending on what outcome you wish to achieve.

What happens before and at the first hearing? 

Once the proceedings are issued, Children and Family Court Advisory and Support Service (CAFCASS) will become involved. They will carry out safeguarding checks, check police and social services records, and speak only to the parties to the proceedings at this stage.

They will prepare a safeguarding letter, which will include recommendations on the next steps the Court should consider taking, which may include obtaining medical evidence, drug and/or alcohol testing, attending parenting courses, obtaining evidence from schools or other organisations.

At the first hearing, you will be required to attend the Court. Your representatives will discuss the matter and try to reach an agreement on the best way to move forward, interim contact arrangements or negotiate final agreement if possible. The Court will hear from the parties and will make a decision, if it is satisfied it is in the best interest of the child.

If there are allegations raised by any party against the other, it is likely that statements and will be required for the Court to consider, before making any further decisions.

The proceedings are private and confidential, therefore your family or friends will not be able to come into the Courtroom with you.

What are the consequences of giving false statements? 

A written statement requires you to sign a statement of truth that the information you provided is true, and in Court you will give an oath to the same effect.

If the Court finds that you gave a false statement, you can be found in contempt of court, fined and/or imprisoned. This will also have an impact on your credibility as a witness, which in turn may have detrimental impact on the outcome of your case.

Can I wait with providing evidence until last minute? 

You should provide all available evidence and a list of witnesses to your solicitor before the first hearing, or when requested by them.

If you do not, you will need to ask the Court for permission to rely on any other evidence, or witnesses, and have a reason as to why you have not disclosed it earlier.

If you come across new evidence, you should inform your solicitor about it straight away, for them to review it and potentially ask the Court to use it.

What if someone takes my child without my agreement? 

If there is a Court Order dictating contact arrangements, then you should contact the police and a solicitor. An urgent application for Enforcement may be necessary for the child to be returned to you.

If there is no Court Order in place, you should also contact the police and your solicitor to seek an urgent Order for return of the child (Specific Issue Order), an Order prohibiting that person from removing the child from your care (Prohibited Steps Order), as well as an Order confirm that the child lives with you (Child Arrangements Order – Live with).

What do I tell the child about the proceedings? 

A very simple answer would be: you don’t tell them anything.

However, the older the child, the more questions and awareness they will have. Any conversation should be neutral and child focused. You should not be telling the children what will happen, your perspective of events, or show them any documents relating to your case.

If you are unsure how to speak to the child or what information to provide them with, you should speak to the CAFCASS officer assigned to your case.

How long will the proceedings take? 

Overall, if there is no agreement between the parties, the proceedings could take between 9 and 24 months.

The cliff hanger… 

Without giving too much away, the final moments raise one critical question: were all the legal bases covered?

For a lawyer, this moment serves as a stark reminder of the importance of finalising court proceedings and securing legally binding agreements, especially in complex family disputes. Whether it is child arrangements order, financial settlement, or safeguarding parental responsibility, leaving matters unresolved can lead to devastating and pro-longed battles far beyond the courtroom.

As viewers are left with a cliff hanger of what future looks like for Theo, David and their parents, one thing is clear – protecting your (and your children’s) future through proper legal channels is a lesson that transcends fiction.

Dominik Windak, specialises in family law disputes. If there any issues that you would like to raise with her then you can contact us on 0333 888 0404 or send an email to us at [email protected]

Picture of Dominika Windak

Dominika Windak

Dominika is an experienced Family Law Legal Executive, dealing with divorce, finances, children matters, domestic abuse, committal proceedings and disputes involving unmarried couples.
Picture of Dominika Windak

Dominika Windak

Dominika is an experienced Family Law Legal Executive, dealing with divorce, finances, children matters, domestic abuse, committal proceedings and disputes involving unmarried couples.

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